My wife and I have decided to change things up a bit with her blog, but before I get started I want to clarify what it is we are wanting to do. A lot of times you will get to hear one side of the story and never both sides. This isn’t to air out our laundry, but to show a perspective from two different sides. This isn’t our blog. This is very much my wife’s blog and she wanted me to come in and offer my two cents and because I support her in this, I am glad to do it. I am just going to let you know that I am not the best at grammar.
My wife could tell you that my biggest fear is my life taking over this marriage. I can tell you my wife took my last name when we got married, she moved from the city to live out in the desert, she travels with me to my rodeos, she has to deal with me being gone once a month and two weeks a year for drill, and she has to deal with me working late or having to travel to Europe for work. To be honest, my wife doesn’t have to put up with any of these things but she chooses to because she wants to support me in what I do. I always try to find ways to support her in any way I can. Not because I want us to have our own separate lives, but because she has been so supportive and I want to do my best to give that back to her. I also have done my best with scheduling any rodeos to where it doesn’t take over our lives.
Now lets get to that long drive we took down to Mesquite.
So, as we were already driving 10 hours for a rodeo, I told my wife that I would like to put more into these rodeos. I have had one summer where I was able to rodeo almost full time and since then because of the Marine Corps and deployments, I was never able to get back into it. I wanted to dedicate more time to rodeos. When I told my wife this, my wife didn’t seem to happy and I felt discouraged by the words she shared. I am the type of guy I can go 100 mph with little sleep and still be ok. My wife however can only do one thing at a time, otherwise she gets overwhelmed. We operate very differently – like it would come to a shock to any married couple. I didn’t realize that the words my wife was trying to speak to me was actually words of concern for my well being. What she heard was “here is another thing I want to pile on our already busy life”. Yes, we fought like any married couple is going to do, only because we both weren’t communicating anything across for the other person so understand clearly. We fought like that for a good while, almost like we both were talking to a brick wall. Finally, I told her how I felt, why I loved doing rodeos, why I wanted to commit more time to it, my biggest fear of my life taking over ours, and why I wanted to marry her and bring her into this hectic life.
So what happened from the outcome? Finally, we were able to just talk and actually listen to each other. Honestly, we had a very intimate time with one another. The long drive was actually good for both of us to talk and really give each other the attention the other person deserves. I also made a compromise with my wife with the rodeos. I only wanted to do the rodeos in New Mexico and pushed most of them to Friday nights so we have the weekend to spend together. I still try my best to encourage my wife to find things she tries to enjoy and I do the best I can so my life isn’t the dominate one. I love my wife and I would give everything up for her if it came down to it. I know people may say, “well why don’t you give it up?” I am not a marriage expert but people get married to share their life, their passions, their hobbies, their struggles, and their everything with the other person. Sure things change when you get married and you may have to give somethings up, like your cowboy house theme, but marriage isn’t about being boring and its not about making each other change who they are. Take interest in what the other person loves doing and encourage each other as you pursue those things. Share that passion with the other person, but don’t let that take over your marriage. It takes compromise between two people and a lot of hard conversations. I don’t have all the answers and I may be wrong in what I am saying, but that is the life my wife and I are living right now.